Saturday, February 21, 2004
Livinghigh was here at 4:19 PM /

Standing Alone: the title

Alright, this is a dreamy short story - a love story, really. Blame it on the hangover of 'Love, actually', if you will. the immediate provocation was this great poem on Nelly's blog. I got the images from there, and put it in prose.

I wonder if you can sense me here, standing in the shadows behind your drapes. I’ve been waiting here for ages, it seems, and all because of that one burning feeling I have in my heart each time I picture your dancing face before me. Every time I cross the street with you, holding your hand, it doesn’t really matter if I dally for a second too long and don’t find the time to dally any longer – because I have you in that instant and that’s all I want. So I’m standing here now in the shadows, watching you where the light plays and I wonder whether you can sense me.

You face the tall mirror and gaze into its depths, my love, and sigh. I would give a thousand lifetimes to wash away your sighs - rush right out of the shadows in a flash and gather you in my arms and wash away your sighs with sweet nectar. I would run my lips along your sweet tanned skin and make you fall in love with me all over again, all new again. It’s a new, beautiful world out there, my love – every second, every instant – and yet, what does that matter in the end, for here you are, and there I am, watching you, loving you, waiting to possess you.

I can see the light in your wide eyes as you turn around towards me, or think I do, at any rate. I can see the way you look startled, then happy, then alive, as you come into my arms. We don’t need to close the drapes, they have a mind of their own, and the soft amber light through the windows makes us burn in their life anew. Ours is a burning love, it always has been. You have always wanted to own me, and I have always wanted to be yours. You have always wanted to be radiant, and I wanted you to shine so bright. We burned together my love, even as I watched and you danced, even as I took you in m my arms and led you up the stairs to make love.

In the middle of the afternoon, and yet there we were, lying in bed together. I kissed your earlobes and you laughed. You sighed again, and this time, I thrilled to hear your soft breath. My fingers danced atop your honey skin, and revelled in that dance. There were no drum beats my love, save the strange passion emanating from between us. There was no world around us at all – only that deep, dark cesspool in which we found ourselves, whirling and whirling on, hoping and praying that this would last on till eternity. And it has… In spite of all those fears we once had that this was transitory, for a mere moment, the truth is at last upon us. That soft, tremulous love, that fleeting emotion that we marvelled existed in this world, that feeling of light headedness that we were sure every man and woman in the world longed for… it has come and it is here to stay for me.

For that last time when we crossed the road, me holding your hand in mine, when I dallied for a second too long, I didn’t have the time to dally any more.

But that’s alright… because I have you in this instant and that’s all I want.

PS: Yes, the ending sounds very Ghost.


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