Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Livinghigh was here at 7:02 PM /

Pendulum living

How on earth do you live high? I started this blog with the same query and I wonder if, at the end of so many months since then, my answer has been answered, even in a small way. Most of all by myself.

Does the answer lie in your friends? What happens then when the time comes for you to move on and they go far, far away...? I dare say that all this introspection is brought on by the prospect of leaving ACJ and I dare say that I hate all this maudlin mush myself - but here I am, face stuffed with maudlin mush right now. When your friends leave you, do you lose a part of yourself? Or do you subscribe to that egoitistical point of view that declares 'me, myself and I' continuously, and opine that all your strengths and all your hopes are concentrated within one individual and that is you?...

Or does the answer lie in the environment around you? Something greater than just the people you come into contact with - something to do with the kind of airs they generate and the kind of person you become because of that atmosphere and the time spent with them...? Questions, questions thrown up into the air....?

How on earth do you live high? Is living high momentary - so easily diffused? Why on earth do i sound like a wannabe Foucoult? (I don't even know whether i spelt his name right, for god's sake!)

I'm exhausted, writing all this soul-searching stuff down... I'm exhausted at the idea of coming back tomorrow at this desk and beginning work all over again... I'm exhausted at the thought of my friends leaving me... I'm exhilarated at the prospect of going out to a sumptuous dinner right now.

Does that mean that living high actually translates into a well-fed stomach?


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