Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Spamming me softly
I was bored today, and after playing 'delete the bugger' with the pending messages in my inbox, I decided to see what Spam had in store for me. I'm glad I did so.
The first spam mail was the most ordinary one. Some kind soul called Dean Seymour wants to offer me software: Special Offer #1 has Windows XP Professional and Microsoft Office XP Professional (for the utter computer non-entity like me, I thought it was the same thing!) for only $80; Special Offer #2 hands out Photoshop 7, Premiere 7, and (something called) Illustrator 10 for only $120 (I'm pretending I run a TVS Sky Shop here, with the onlys); while Special Offer #3 throws in a Dreamweaver MX 2004 and a Flash MX 2004 at (I will not say only) $100. Ho hum. Trashed.
The second mail informs me that I've won something called the El Gordo lottery (bull, anyone?) Turns out, I have a ticket which won the prize in the 6th category, which basically translates to EURO 310,706 and 45 cents. (why, why, why, WHY 45?!) The mail goes on to say, all participants were selected through a computer ballot system (am impressed!) drawn from 6000 names from Asia, Australia, NZ, Europe, North America, Canada and Africa, and the money is now deposited with a security company insured with my name. It will be there till January 21, after which it will be refunded, unless I contact some gracious beauty queen by the name of Ramona Olivares. Mmmm.... does anyone fancy a trip to the Mediterranean with me...?
Number three! A dude called Kabbah in a country, where there happens to be a "Raging War" (his capitals, not mine), has $ 12,000 in "a Finance and Security Company" that he wants to invest - surprise, surprise, he wants my help in investing it! In return, I'm assured 10% of the gains he makes. Wow - I guess I can do my bit as a CNBC guy and get my own piece of FII in for the stock markets, though $12,000 is probably way too miniscule! ;-)
Sellou Malee sent me the fourth mail. Picture a sleazy Arab from some old Hollywood movie, complete with weather-stained robe and headgear, offering you gold, and that (in a nutshell) is what my fourth mail is. My good friend Sellou wants to sell me gold dust at "very accessible prices" (I can even picture the wink now!) and in case I help him find a buyer, I get an assured 2%: "2% is assured, ok don't worry about that. thanks in advance of your collaboration" goes the deal. He promises not to leave me for the vultures on the desert, afterwards.
Yes, and the world keeps on spinning around.
Mirror Mirror #4: I'm the younger son, so yes, I've been adequately pampered. My parents regret that now, I think.
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