Livinghigh: C U Hopefully Never Again!!!
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Livinghigh was here at 12:33 AM /

C U Hopefully Never Again!!!

I saw the most godawful movie tonight. It's called CU@9, and I would provide a link to a review if I could, but it seems the damn thing only released today and there's no review available. So, after exhausting God Google all I have is this link to this piece that Mid-Day did last year on the 'actor' of the movie ('I saw a Vision of Mother Mary!'). And, if you don't really have the enthusiasm to read an ode to Muscular Model-turned-'Actor' (who it was hoped could actually act), here are the few lines that refer to the movie from a sort of list of movie bizz happenings on Yahoo India:

TIME PLEASE! Shweta and Isaiah in C U at 9 - Now what could this be? Two dying souls giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to each other? A couple quizzing each other on what they've had for dinner hence a common breath analyser test? A duet being sung so close to each other that it reaches the innards of the respective bodies?
Okay, we give up. The film is called CU at 9. If anybody's ever interested, they can see the movie and find out. That is, if anybody's interested.

:-) Let me put things into perspective, so that you will (hopefully) never be interested:

1. Isaiah, the 'actor', tries to do a John Abraham (they used to call it 'a Salman Khan' in prehistory) without his shirt all the time.
2. He speaks like a retard returned from Timbuktoo.
3. The 'actress', Shweta, looks like from Bram Stoker's worst nightmare, in both her avatars: the goody-goody and the vamp (pun intended).
4. The 'actress no. 2', Aakanksha, is a snivelling piece of tissue paper who should have been tossed out with the garbage a long time ago. The only reason she's still there is because Isaiah needs her when he's horny and he mouths dreary come-on lines, and Vampire Gal is not available to seduce him.
5. Vampire Gal, aka Shweta, does a great porno film touchy-feely number that left me and my bro quite awkward around each other. (My bro is old-fashioned, yes.) She has the most grandmotherly bra ever!

The movie has some great visuals, though. It looks like a music director tried to make it, and he botched up on every damn thing, except perhaps some of the interesting angles. It looks like an Art Film gone horribly, horribly wrong - the worst stereotype that Indies could ever hope to have!

The plot goes like this: horny ad film director meets this chick who calls him and wants to meet at (jackpot!) 9 pm: so they do, and they fuck like rabbits, but then things get complicated when he meets her alter-ego twin sister and screws her too. Actress no 2 is the on-again, off-again fuck for horny ad film director, in the background.

I walked out even before the interval, but am pretty sure that this is what happens in the end: Vampire Gal is a demented schizo with two egos, no twins - she's after director's blood - the end will probably have not-so-sati-savitri Actress no 2 save horny film maker from Vampire Gal's clutches.

Ta-da! End of movie. Paisa vasool?

Not bloody likely! The damn seats at Regal gave me a back-ache!


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