Livinghigh: Let's cut the faff, did ya say?
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Livinghigh was here at 10:18 AM /



Let's cut the FAFF, did ya say?

Let's talk about the games mediapeople play. With each other, no less. We share a love-hate relationship with each other. when it's time for a drink, there's no better place than the Press Club and its discounted liquor, and when it's time for a screw, it's a no-holds barred contest.

The funny thing is, it's so no-holds barred, you feel like laughing.

Cut to Scene One: Busy press conference, where Mr BigWig is hurrying away, followed by a swarm of cameras and reporters. It is an unwritten rule among TV journalists that in such circumstances, when the BigWig is giving bytes, all the cameras will face him from the front, and the person asking the question will also be there - in front. That's when Mr Extraordinaire from N*** comes from the left and asks his dumb question, and BigWig turns thereon! Everyone else curses and mutters, because then they realise that the N*** cameraperson had slunk away to the left earlier, in a preplanned move, and is the only one getting frontal pictures of BigWig yapping, while the rest have a shitty profile.

Cut to Scene Two: A big cement company has just declared its results in a fancy press-con, and bytes are being taken all around. Finally, it is our turn. Now, I'm not really in this beat, but since I was in the neighbourhood, decided to tag along. My colleauge sits with Porky Lech, the MD of the company, who never takes his eyes off her boobs while answering her questions about operating profit margins. After he goes, she gets Beanstalk, the CFO of the company, to talk to her. Meanwhile, high-flying Diva Bitch from C*** walks over to Porky Lech, takes his hands in hers, clasps them tight, presses them against her heaving bosom, and says raucously that C*** and Big Cement Company share such excellent ties, that next quarter they must get exclusive info prior to the normal media release. As if this weren't bad enough, Diva Bitch's l'amour provokes Porky Lech into raucous laughter of his own, whereupon he starts guffawing like a pig in a barn full of fodder - HAWHAWHAW! You can imagine what happened to the soundbyte my colleague was taking.

I swear: I saw that damn sly vixen Diva Bitch actually steal a smirk in our direction.



8 Comments:

Oh wow! Thankfully, I did a grand total of five reporting assignments before I settled nicely into a desk position, but I know a lot of people in N*** and the kind of stories I know about them (because my husband used to work there as well..).. TV sucks man.. big time. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemies.

By Blogger the cowlick, at 2:40 PM  

I am sadly not going to take your side here, because I'm a grade-A bastard at the game. Its all about striking deals, the better you know someone the easier it is to cut a deal. I have cut 'exclusive' deals with senior executives . "Sir, speak to us and not to XXXX, because they won't give you a good story."
Also, because if I don't do that I get screwed my boss back at office. Is it ethically wrong? Nope. Is it devious and slimy? Yes. But its the job.
Now what is despicable is the way some people do it by casting aspersions on the character of rival correspondents. I was once told by a man-monster who is the MD of a car company that a rival correpondent had bitched me out in an attempt to get a story. I was upset, but then man-monster was (and is, well until I did a not-so flattering story on them) rather close to me, and gave me the story anyway. But that is how the cookie crumbles kiddo.

By Blogger K, at 4:34 PM  

I don't get it. what exactly did they do wrong? and why on earth did your colleague not think about this???

By Blogger bluegreenflysplat, at 5:20 PM  

Sounds like life ;-)

By Blogger Geetanjali, at 7:33 PM  

Who says real life is not as hilarious as reel life?? They should be showing this stuff on TV, instead of the stupid soaps :D

Hahahaha... hilarious man!

By Blogger Casablanca, at 10:47 PM  

look at the bright side - you have an interesting work life & get to see & be with bitchy people !!

By Blogger a guppie, at 1:45 PM  

cowlick - hehehe, it's actually not dat bad. amusing, actually. stressful, definitely.

k - i'm hardly whining here, u know! just pointing out some of de tricks in de trade! of course all this works.. in fact, i told my colleague later dat she better learn to do de same crap if she wanted to get anywhere!

bgf - cuz she's not a genius like ya, sweetheart.

geet - what? no french? hehehe

casa - i know... imagine a show called REALITY TV tv. hehehe

gups - of course, there's always a bright side to everything!!! haha

By Blogger livinghigh, at 1:04 PM  

Sigh! The bosom.. Possibly one of the most potent weapons that ever existed! :-)

By Blogger theLastJedi, at 10:37 PM  

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