Livinghigh: Wax
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Livinghigh was here at 5:53 PM /



Wax

I'm done with feeling wretched. Done with feeling old. It's a strange new part of me, this sudden piece of melancholy that just somehow fell out of the sky and landed... on me. It couldn't have found any other place to land on, it seems on hindsight.

These are the days when I find myself telling others that they should wait for love, instead of griping why it doesn't hurry on, and these are the days that I find myself talking about optimism in the soul. These are the days when I'm twenty four, but these are suddenly the days when twenty four seems too old. These are the days when I don't follow my own advice about waiting for love. These are the days when ideas seem to pop faster than boiling water snapshots. These are the days when I look back and wonder what I'm doing. Do I really know what I'm doing, living, talking, listening, wondering?

Melancholy seems like a dull piece of wax. It refuses to melt. It remains burning hot.

And I think to myself, what the hell, maybe this time it's the quarter life crisis for real. The last time I thought I had it, there was some solace in company. I had company in feeling wretched... and that was merely restricted to my work... this time, however, it seems to be much more... deep-seated. This time, I keep thinking: twenty four is OLD. O-L-D. Terribly old. And I wonder what I'm doing here.

Flaking wax.

I started this post with the line: I'm done with feeling wretched. Done with feeling old. I told myself this afternoon, in the car, looking out of the window. Somehow, though, even as I wrote these whiny paragraphs in the middle, I seem to have forgotten my resolve. It's a phase, I tell myself. A phase. I'll get over it. I will. I will. I will. I find myself in an exclusive club, where you just don't get entry in... because to my inflated ego, your problems are just never as big as mine.

Dumb wax.



11 Comments:

does this mean we can leave comments now?

By Blogger bluegreenflysplat, at 7:53 PM  

yes it does! yes it does!!!! MUAH!!!!!

By Blogger bluegreenflysplat, at 7:55 PM  

It *is* a phase! It most certainly is. 24 is not old man, its not even the begining of OLD.
I think you need a few friends to cheer you up.. quater life crisis (lol) go out of the window!

jedi

By Anonymous thelastjedi, at 4:10 AM  

Nicely written! And 24 is N-O-T old. Old is only when you're bored with the monotony of life. Add some spice and voila!

By Blogger the cowlick, at 3:50 PM  

I think it is the wintyer - it seems to bring out and accentuate every single vulnerability one may possesses.

Go out with a few friends to Toto's and then wherever the night takes you. Or just get yourself out of Bombay for a week. Will do wonders for you - really. :-)

By Blogger Extempore, at 8:08 PM  

Hmmm seems like the damned virus is spreading...dunno whether it's winter or quater life crisis that's going around playing havoc with our mansik santulan, but one thing's for sure..."this too shall pass" (as the wise one and the eldest of us all Aristera would have said if he were here!)

Take care of theeself - I'm sure it will pass. It has to...doesn't it?

By Blogger Geetanjali, at 11:24 PM  

OK, this time, I'm being nice and telling.. You've been tagged.

By Blogger K, at 1:34 PM  

DEFLATE your inflated ego soon before it gets you.

By Anonymous aparna, at 8:40 PM  

hey from livinhigh to going low . now thats life . maybeu r devoiding urself of something in life , just lookout for it.

By Blogger paddy, at 12:48 AM  

Well as many have sind in the comments I really want to say that it is a phase but I know too well what u are talking, in justa a couple of seconds u feel that u are 42 instead of 24( i n ur case ) But I must also add that as timepasses by Life will unfold its numerous beauty u really will feel young again to the extend u fell u are a child again :)


Well I have never been able to understand thedifferent layers of Life

Makes sense ?

No ? Then forget it I couldnt make sense
Enjoy ur weekend !

By Blogger Viewer, at 11:54 PM  

Oh sweetheart, you make my tummy churn with those thoughts. But as cliched as it may sound, we've all been there / are there. So hang in... it will pass.

By Blogger Casablanca, at 9:58 AM  

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