Monday, October 23, 2006
Trying to do a Carrie Bradshaw and talk about matters relating to, well, relationships here. Everyone knows that we all love the sugary phase in the beginning of a relationship. We love sending/ receiving flowers and chocolates, the looong phone conversations which serve as a bedtime story before drifting off to sleep, and the dates spent just... gazing into each other's eyes. And we all know that these things rarely last. After the honeymoon is over, it's time to get down to the grisly business of, well, Life.
I remember reading a blog post somewhere sometime back, where the writer was complaining how her significant other refused to let the romantic sweet-somethings die down, even after two weeks of mutual admissions of love. The blogger complained that too much of a sweet thing is simply too yucky to bear, and all relationships should come with a well-declared caveat that after Week Three, all chocolate deliveries should stop. Period.
It's not exactly strange. A lot of people can't stand chocolates. Most people feel that making much ado about something is simply unrealistic. And then there was that episode in SATC where Carrie muses about the Russian's penchant for romance: have NYC gals become so hard-headed and used to 21st century life that poems and chocolates and gifts and having doors opened for them simply become... cheesy? The thing is, that's a question not just for New York gals - it's something that people all across the globe have begun to identify with.
And yet... and yet, there's the part in the beginning of the relationship, when we hanker for something that may not be there. A glance here, a word there, a gesture here, a smile there - could they all mean (possibly) something that wasn't intended? In the first flush of excitement, every little remark gets magnified a 1000 times, and it's OK then if the person is being mushy - hell, you're praying fervently that the object of your affection lets loose a bit of mush... so then, two months later, what happens, when you suddenly think that the person is clingy for calling you three times a day and telling you he/she loves you?
Admittedly, I'm part of the mush brigade. But recognising that everone isn't, I've had to tone down. I'm the kind who can see Notting Hill and DDLJ any number of times. I'm the kind who would call up for no other reason but just to say I'm feeing marvelously in love. I've been scared sometimes that the Love doesn't see things quite like that, but I think we've both adjusted to each other, adapted to each other now - touch wood. But it's still funny (weird funny) to see how the whole rigmarole plays out in my friends circle. When I see A rejecting B, because B talks too much/ calls too much, and A would earlier moan to me how B probably means 'I love you' when he says "I want to visit you'... I'm not sure how to respond to that. Am I just an old fashioned stodgy ass, who thinks that love can remain a mushy-gooey candy mess for ever? Or just a hopeless romantic who refuses to grow up?
I hear you, buddy. I so hear you!
I'm a hopeless pile of mush myself. Sigh :(
casablanca - hehehe. i'm worse. i've made the desktop my desktop pic - something which our mutual blog buddy sez, is the EPITOME of mushiness. hehe.
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