Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Confide in me?
While in this relationship last year, I often faced the complaint that when I was privy to unpleasant matters (professional insecurities, financial troubles, emotional bewilderment, and the like) I wasn't very good at reacting to them. It was alleged: I was very much the sweep-under-the-carpet type. I tut-tut and say nice things about how things will get better and while I try to understand the problem and am a sympathetic enough listener, I offer very little usable advice. Hmmm... not very nice feedback from someone I planned on spending the rest of my life with.
Later on, when I thought about it, I realized that what the said individual required of me was a strangely morbid acknowledgment of how baaaaddd things really were, summed up in the end with a perky "o, but I'm sure things will get better, so don't worry", which completely belied all the worrying that preceded it. and I found that silly. But learnt to deliver on that score because I was in love, and thought, o, why not!
And then, the other day, my best friend calls up with the blues, and we're working on cheering him up. And I wonder: am I really any good at this thing? I mean, this whole Emotional Florence Nightingale thing - is it simply beyond me?
I mean, I'm this weird combination of a cynic and a mush-pot, a comic and a pokerface. When people tell me how things are bad and I think they have it REAL good, I usually tell them so. I usually tell them that they're giving way too much importance to all this temporary shit, and the really big thing is Themselves. That's your typically egoistic Leo advice. And yes, I do tend to give examples from my experience, if I've been through something like that. We all have phases, I say, and this one is going to pass soon, too.
But does this sound silly? Does this sound excessively simplistic, like I'm trivializing the whole issue? Honestly, even while saying stuff like "Things will get better", I'm acutely aware that it's a terrible cliche and I find it funny. But then, what's the alternative?
On the bright side: my conversation with said best friend seemed to have a positive impact on him, and he sounded much better when we spoke again later in the evening.
true that. Lotsa statements have become cliche these days. A friend of mine takes it offensive when I tell, "Hope your weekend was fun!". I'm like DUH!
But hey, there is a difference between saying "Things will get better" and "Things might not get better, but I promise, things won't get worse than this"... ahem ahem ;)
co^th - lol. my agency wud like to have spin docs like u, dude!
mm.. I don't know if I agree. I think yours is the right attitude to have rather saying something meaningless and giving people false hope. Perhaps a little bit of spin maybe :p
Relationships can be tricky though. They want you to show a little bit more concern even if you might not see a real need to. One of those things!
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